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rayghiemay
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PostSubject: future plans   Thu Jan 09, 2014 5:27 pm

I'm thinking that while i'm still young (21), i gotta do something that when i recall someday i'm gonna be proud of. I've recently graduated and I was wondering whether to pursue a masters degree or enroll in another course/program while working but i'm still unsure which degree i'm gonna enroll into. I also want to somehow travel or enjoy my life now. this year i'm gonna try mountain climbing (or hiking?) (an easy, day-hike, climb), take 2 exams and then... then what? i'm kinda lost on how i'm gonna spend my life. aside from work, i don't know what else i'm gonna do.
do i make sense?
any suggestions? advice? Smile

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"Fear can only ruin your life if you will allow for it to. In our lives we can try to bypass our fears by staying away from them as much as possible, but to truly conquer each fear we must step up to it, and take it on. We can only defeat something if we are willing to compete against it, and with a strong heart, a determined attitude, and an unbreakable will, there is nothing in this world we can't defeat if we give it our all."

afro
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swedesamurai
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Fri Jan 10, 2014 6:39 am

If you want to pursue a Higher Degree do it now. After you get out of the habit of studying and get into the details of making a living you will find it hard to continue your studies.  I have a MS in Public Administration, many of the people who went to undergarduate school with me planned on going to work and then somewhen later return to study.  I think maybe about 10 percent did.
Just because your studying does not preclude your having an exciting life.  You can do just about anything you want, somewhere in this forum I've listed my hobbies and activities many of these were done while I was working full time or studying.(Page 3 of What are Your Hobbies?)  
If you're organized and have enough ambition and like a hectic life-style...you can do anything.  Like anything in Life....You just have to want it enough.
But about Graduate School if you think you need it to suceed in your field then I recommend that you do it now.
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rayghiemay
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Fri Jan 10, 2014 2:31 pm

wow! thanks! i read your hobbies (and enjoyed it very much!). it made me really (really!) think that i shouldn't hurry my life. i'm always worrying of what will happen in my future if i pursue a more "free" path rather than follow a more traditional one (graduate, get a job, have a family, move in closer to my parents, etc.). rather than growing up spoiled because i was an only child for 18 years (my mom gave birth again when i was in my 3rd year of college, and now my brother is 3 years old), i'm an independent person. but now my dad wants me to move in with them again (now that i've finished studying) and start a job here. i love them but you know, there's this feeling that i want to somehow know more about life. that part where you connect to god through outdoor recreational things you do - i love them! - i also want to experience that kind of thing. i seem to want more...
thanks for replying though! i really like your hobbies and i appreciate your advise. it's full of wisdom and i plan to apply it to myself. take care of your heart and thanks again!  Very Happy

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"Fear can only ruin your life if you will allow for it to. In our lives we can try to bypass our fears by staying away from them as much as possible, but to truly conquer each fear we must step up to it, and take it on. We can only defeat something if we are willing to compete against it, and with a strong heart, a determined attitude, and an unbreakable will, there is nothing in this world we can't defeat if we give it our all."

afro
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silvery
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Fri Jan 10, 2014 5:14 pm

rayghiemay wrote:
wow! thanks! i read your hobbies (and enjoyed it very much!). it made me really (really!) think that i shouldn't hurry my life. i'm always worrying of what will happen in my future if i pursue a more "free" path rather than follow a more traditional one (graduate, get a job, have a family, move in closer to my parents, etc.). rather than growing up spoiled because i was an only child for 18 years (my mom gave birth again when i was in my 3rd year of college, and now my brother is 3 years old), i'm an independent person. but now my dad wants me to move in with them again (now that i've finished studying) and start a job here. i love them but you know, there's this feeling that i want to somehow know more about life. that part where you connect to god through outdoor recreational things you do - i love them! - i also want to experience that kind of thing. i seem to want more...
thanks for replying though! i really like your hobbies and i appreciate your advise. it's full of wisdom and i plan to apply it to myself. take care of your heart and thanks again!  Very Happy

I agree with swede on the study while you still can thing. I'm still debating about furthering my studies, after nearly 7-8 years after my graduation. On one hand if I continue in this line of work (civil service), a masters degree will help me very much. But on the other I have dreams of volunteerism and working overseas, which my youth and energy will help me better than my qualifications. As for the living with you parents thing, it depends. I live away from home too. I'm the independent, stubborn type whereas my mum is a bit of a worrier. I used to get into a lot of fights with her because of our clashing natures. Now that I live on my own, the fights have stopped and I appreciate my family more. If you're in the same situation as me, strike a compromise with your parents instead. I live it the next state (about two hours drive back to my hometown) while my brother whose more of the homey type stays with them. But if he ever gets promoted/ transferred (oversea/ outstation), I might ask for a transfer back to my hometown to be with them *shrug.
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rayghiemay
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Fri Jan 10, 2014 5:24 pm

thanks silvery! i, on the other hand, have to travel by plane just to be with them. my dad insists on me working here, so i could be with them longer. he wants us to be "whole" again. my mom wants me to work "out" there though, and i partly agree with her. while my dad has this contented nature, my mom wants me to earn more. both of them have their points though and it's tough for me to decide. especially if i want to be close to my younger brother. however, i also want to experience other things. i'm still confused, but with your (@silvery) and @swedesamurai's help i think i'm getting there. thanks a lot Smile

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"Fear can only ruin your life if you will allow for it to. In our lives we can try to bypass our fears by staying away from them as much as possible, but to truly conquer each fear we must step up to it, and take it on. We can only defeat something if we are willing to compete against it, and with a strong heart, a determined attitude, and an unbreakable will, there is nothing in this world we can't defeat if we give it our all."

afro
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aerysa
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:51 pm

I think that's really cool that you're thinking about going further with your studies, but at the same time, if you're not really certain about what you want to pursue, I wouldn't force it. It takes time to figure out what you want to do - not to mention that it's expensive.

For myself, I rushed right into university after I finished high school and got my degree in Biology. Unfortunately, it was such a general studies program that I didn't know what I could possibly do for work afterwards. As a result, I went straight into technical college after that to gain more "hands-on" education. In my case, it worked out really well since I work in a related field Smile

Buuut! I did do the whole traveling thing right after graduating the second time. Honestly, it's a really good time to travel if you can afford it. You're not tied down to commitments just yet (work...) My trip was 6 weeks, but I actually ended up taking the entire summer off before I started my first job after graduation. Like seriously, what workplace is going to give you 6 weeks off right after you start?! NONE.

As for other hobbies, you fit them into your schedule when you can. It's not like you have to "just work" or "just play", not able to do them simultaneously. You just have to keep yourself organized. And depending on your schedules. Obviously work is important, but I would never make it the top priority in life. You do your best at it to complete what you need to, but you still have fun doing the things you enjoy. At least, that's the case for me, because while I might like my job (for the most part), I definitely do not love it. You could say I "work for my vacations" Laughing

Oh, and the moving thing... I wouldn't let your parents' opinions limit you to your options. I'm not sure what field you're in and how available it is in your country in terms of jobs, but you just sometimes have to go where the work leads you.

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Veramonte
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Sat Jan 11, 2014 6:16 pm

rayghiemay wrote:
I'm thinking that while i'm still young (21), i gotta do something that when i recall someday i'm gonna be proud of. I've recently graduated and I was wondering whether to pursue a masters degree or enroll in another course/program while working but i'm still unsure which degree i'm gonna enroll into. I also want to somehow travel or enjoy my life now. this year i'm gonna try mountain climbing (or hiking?) (an easy, day-hike, climb), take 2 exams and then... then what? i'm kinda lost on how i'm gonna spend my life. aside from work, i don't know what else i'm gonna do.
do i make sense?
any suggestions? advice? Smile

I'm in the same position as you, so I somewhat understand your confusions.

However I agree with Swedesamurai that if you want to study further, you should do it now.
My father didn't have money to get a Master Degree (20+ years ago) so he got a job and married my mom. Then I came along and... ta-da! Master Degree forgotten.

Some of my friends who planned to study further do internship or get a time job while waiting for scholarships.
This is also great, as they have the 'cooldown time' to think about their decisions.

I wish you all the best, and hopefully we can sort out our life asap.
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rayghiemay
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Tue Jan 14, 2014 1:08 pm

i am really saving your comments on my computer! ^^ so when i get confused from time to time i'll just read them. currently i'm at my parents for a "vacation" before i find (and start) my first real work. @aerysa you're right about taking the time to do both work and play. i guess i'll just have to prepare myself when i choose to do both. i know not all people can do and handle this kind of life (juggling play and work). my mom was all work when she had me. and now, after 18 years, she's just started enjoying vacations and fun stuff, but she had her reasons then... i think? (we're not that close for her to open up to me so i don't actually know what those reasons are). however, i don't want to end up recognizing what i want "later" in my life. anyways, thank you, thank you, thank you! i really appreciate your reply  Very Happy 

@Veramonte i'm with you on that: i do hope we both recognize what we want asap. marriage is still not included in my near future plan so in the meantime i'll go with all of your suggestions to "do-what-i-want-now-but-don't-forget-about-work" plan. but thank you also for your opinion. it's good that you included you marriage. i should be really aware of what my actions and decisions or one day i might "ta-da!" myself into marrying (sometimes i do a spur-of-the-moment decision). i do think that your parents must really love you (especially your dad) to prioritize your future instead of pursuing first his master's degree after marrying your mom. more power to your family!  Very Happy 

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"Fear can only ruin your life if you will allow for it to. In our lives we can try to bypass our fears by staying away from them as much as possible, but to truly conquer each fear we must step up to it, and take it on. We can only defeat something if we are willing to compete against it, and with a strong heart, a determined attitude, and an unbreakable will, there is nothing in this world we can't defeat if we give it our all."

afro
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silvery
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Wed Jan 15, 2014 11:43 am

It happens. Most parents will put the kids first and themselves second (happened in my family too). Until today, my mum's constantly buying little somethings for me (bags, clothes, etc) when she sees it and thinks about me. She doesn't know where to start when it comes to herself though. I think the reason why I urged you to further your studies now is because you don't really have any commitments at the moment. Most of those who work now and think of furthering studies later never do because then the spouse and the kids come in. And it's often difficult to remain unemployed while studying when there are mouths to feed.

Here's some advice that I find true:
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aerysa
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PostSubject: Re: future plans   Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:23 pm

rayghiemay wrote:
my mom was all work when she had me. and now, after 18 years, she's just started enjoying vacations and fun stuff, but she had her reasons then... i think? (we're not that close for her to open up to me so i don't actually know what those reasons are). however, i don't want to end up recognizing what i want "later" in my life. anyways, thank you, thank you, thank you! i really appreciate your reply  Very Happy 
I can see why! It's expensive to have children! XD
My parents were kind of like that too - mainly because of financial reasons. My parents owned their own business while I was growing up, so many times I would be there with them. After I was old enough to stay home, I was home with my sister and they wouldn't get home until very late. They did take time off during the summer though so we traveled, mostly to visit grandma/grandpa since they lived in a different city.

Now that we're grown up, they enjoy their travel time! haha~ Getting close to retirement age and all that.

silvery wrote:
It happens. Most parents will put the kids first and themselves second (happened in my family too). Until today, my mum's constantly buying little somethings for me (bags, clothes, etc) when she sees it and thinks about me. She doesn't know where to start when it comes to herself though. I think the reason why I urged you to further your studies now is because you don't really have any commitments at the moment. Most of those who work now and think of furthering studies later never do because then the spouse and the kids come in. And it's often difficult to remain unemployed while studying when there are mouths to feed.
My mom is like that too! She'll buy things for me and my sister, even if we don't particularly ask for it. But unlike yours, she does know how to pamper herself XD But yes, I agree with what you're saying. While you're still young, you have energy and not as many commitments. It's easier to immerse yourself in studies, especially since you haven't know much else besides that yet.

Now that I'm working, it'd be really difficult to get back into studying. Just imagining it causes headaches Laughing (I'm not that old XD) I think I could do it if I really HAD to, but now that I have a stable career, I wouldn't want to.

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